Igrot Kodesh · Letter 5293 — Shidduchim

By the grace of Hashem,

21 Adar Sheini* 5717,

Brooklyn,

Greetings and blessings,

It is surely unnecessary to point out to you that precisely after one's marriage, one must strengthen one's practice of the Torah* and the mitzvos*. Indeed, after the marriage has been celebrated, one receives from Hashem increased success in this regard (see note 1).

When Hashem grants strengths, one must, of course, use them in the proper manner and as broadly as possible. One of these mitzvos* is: "Love your neighbor as yourself," which is "a great principle of the Torah*," particularly toward those who are closest. May Hashem therefore grant that your words, addressed to your brother, be fruitful (see note 2).

You should tell him that he has sufficiently closed his eyes for the purpose of not seeing the kindnesses that Hashem has accomplished for him until now. His stubbornness in refusing to acknowledge them does not merely complicate life for himself, for those around him, and for all the members of his family. It also obscures these kindnesses (see note 3).

Indeed, the heavenly revelation is commensurate with man's effort, and when one stubbornly insists here below, asserting that "this is not the right meaning and this is not how it should be interpreted," one elicits a response in the same direction (see note 4).

Moreover, it is evident that it is not sufficient to observe these kindnesses oneself. One must, in addition, forge pure and ample receptacles in order to contain them. Nevertheless, if one wishes to convince oneself that all of this is normal, that such is the nature (teva*) of the world — a term that also means "engulfed" (see note 5) — one can obtain the previously described result, which Hashem forbid.

Certainly, it is said that "none of us will be cast away." Nevertheless, one thereby imposes distress upon oneself, as well as upon all the members of one's family, when one could have served Hashem in joy, received material goods joyfully, had cause for happiness, received a visible and tangible good, and perceived it as such with one's eyes of flesh.

May Hashem grant that you give me good news of this as well. You will also tell me that your brother is drawing closer, that he is participating in the public study sessions or, more generally, in the activities of Chabad* and in much more besides.

Notes

(1) In order to carry out such an addition.

(2) Thanks to the increased vigor that marriage confers upon them.

(3) As if they were not there, since he refuses to see them.

(4) A withdrawal of the revelation.

(5) Nature (teva*) is therefore what "engulfs" the Presence of Hashem in the world.