Igrot Kodesh · Letter 5430 — Faith & Bitachon

B"H*

6 Iyar* 5717
Brooklyn

Blessings and greetings,

I am responding to your letter from Rosh Chodesh* Iyar, in which you describe the sudden change that occurred in the relationship your fiance maintains with you, after you had the opportunity to meet several times and indeed did so. You wonder about the reason.

As with everything concerning Jews, the true reason must be found in the Torah* and in its inner dimension. In this case, the conduct adopted was apparently not in conformity with the teachings of our holy Torah. This concerns concrete action, and one must therefore describe the situation as it is, so that one may know what must be repaired. This conduct must have contravened the principles of the Torah and violated the rules of modesty.

It is too difficult to write such things, all the more so since one must grant everyone mitigating circumstances. But, as I said, what results from this is particularly important. It is therefore not conceivable to refrain from describing the situation as it is. And one can establish this even more clearly by observing what resulted from all of it. From a forbidden closeness came a distancing.

As I said, I do not write all of this to impose suffering, which Hashem* forbid, nor to embarrass anyone, but rather to repair the situation, to render it positive — that is, to enable teshuvah*, which transforms everything, when it is sincere and wholehearted. Indeed, it is said that "Hashem probes the heart." If He observes sincere regret for the past and a proper commitment for the future, He grants success in all domains.

After having taken a firm resolution concerning all of the above, one must search, indirectly, whether there was not also an external cause at the origin of this situation, and see what can be done about it. But perhaps all of this will not be necessary.

From what you write, you were a student of the Bais Yaakov*. I therefore presume that upon rising, you recite blessings and prayers. It would be good, on weekdays, to give a few cents to tzedakah* before saying these prayers.

With my blessing,

For the Rebbe Shlita*,
the secretary,