Igrot Kodesh · Letter 9177
Volume 24 · Letter 147 · 25 Tamouz 5726 · To: cours des douze derniers mois. Avec ma bénédiction
By the grace of Hashem,
25 Tammuz* 5726,
Brooklyn,
I bless you and greet you,
I am responding to your letter of 11/7, in which you relate to me what is happening in your home. In general, in such a situation[1], one can act much more effectively through calm, measured steps than through confrontation or urgency.
The key point is that peace in the home — Shalom Bayit* — is one of the most fundamental values of Jewish life, and it must be pursued with wisdom and patience. Our Sages taught that Hashem Himself altered the truth for the sake of peace[2]; how much more should we be willing to bend somewhat for the sake of harmony.
If the situation is as you describe, I suggest the following approach: first, to speak gently and with great care, without accusations; second, to seek counsel from a wise person who knows both sides; third, to increase in acts of Tzedakah* and Tefillah* in this matter, asking Hashem to guide you.
May Hashem grant you peace in your home and in your heart, and may you bring me good tidings. With my blessing,
Notes
(1) See Likkutei Sichot*, vol. 36, p. 321. (2) Tractate Yevamot* 65b; see also the Tanya*, chapter 32.